A good portion of my life has been spent hording forgiveness. I carry it around like a bag of flour on the clearance rack during a famine. I withhold it from everyone but those I deem 'worthy' of it.
But, honestly, who deserves it? I certainly don't. So who am I to withhold it from anyone else?
The only thing that un-forgiveness leads to is misery.
So on my path to wisdom and the heart of God, I find I need to let go of my forgiveness. I need to bestow it freely and exorbitantly.
Every day I must wake up and make the decision that when my husband does something offensive, I will forgive him. Before he even asks. I commit to loving those around me, using my Savior as my Guide. I commit to forgiveness and compassion even before the offense happens, so that I will be prepared when the time comes I will react with grace and compassion.
I will no longer horde my love and forgiveness but I will give it freely. Abundantly. Until it hurts. Because no amount of pain I go through will be anything compared to the pain my Lord endured to forgive me. And He did it before I asked Him to.