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Showing posts from May, 2011

Step One: Progress Report

I have successfully gotten up earlier for four mornings now. I haven't quite made it to my "goal time"...which is 5am...but I'm getting there.

The first morning I got up at 6:40....the second 6:20...the third 5:40 and today I was able to get up at 5:20. So progress is being made!

God is so good. I know without a doubt that this wouldn't be possible without Him. Praise God!

My Plan: Step One

Sometimes I think I can identify with Judas Iscariot. Being so overwhelmed by how sinful I am can easily lead to depression for me. I get so caught up in all of the numerous (as the stars) ways I've failed and how terrible my sin is and how that has affected the people I love the most that I can understand the despair that Judas felt that led to his death.

Even though it IS important to recognize and repent of sin, it is more important to recognize that I can't get bogged down in it. I don't have to. Because Jesus has set me free. He has set me free. He can/will change me. I know that. I've witnessed it over the past year.

This week when we met with the school officials to discuss the outcome of the tests they did with Caleb, I left feeling like a failure, and knowing that I needed to make a lot of changes...and in despair over the bazillion times I had made charts, graphs and plans and then failed to implement them.

Well, after several days, tons of Bible reading and ser…

Go Ahead and Think Outside the Bun...Just Do it Somewhere Besides Taco Bell...

So, at this point in my weight loss it's kind of inevitable that people notice. I've had people not recognize me. Mostly I get "wow! you look great! What are you doing?" And I have to be honest I'm a little perplexed about how to answer.

I'm not on a diet. I don't feel like I'm on a diet. Yes, I count my points and go weigh-in every Monday but I don't feel like I'm on a diet. So when someone asks me that question...I need to give credit where credit is due, but at the same time I don't want to be misleading.

I believe in Weight Watchers. But it's not for everyone. Weight Watchers and the people I've met there have helped me to cut the huge life changes that I need to make into bite size pieces that I can live with. It's not a miracle cure...it's a tool.

Not everyone thinks the same way, not everyone learns the same way. So Weight Watchers might not be the thing for you. I'm the kind of person that needs to have things brok…

Parenting Kindergarten

Do you ever miss something obvious? Something you think you should have seen but didn't?

Like taking your kid to the doctor for a routine checkup and finding out they have a massive ear infection that you weren't privy to? I've done that. And let me tell you, I felt like a completely incompetent mother.

Even though I hate those moments and find them humiliating, I've learned to be thankful for them. It's humbling. And I need all of the humbling I can get.

I had a milder version of that today.

Going to the store is kind of a big deal when you have 5 kinds in four years. The first time I took them all to Walmart shortly after the twins were born, I learned how to fit five kids in a stroller designed for two. It was a memorable experience for me and most likely everyone who was there that day. The babies cried, errrrr...screamed, the entire time.

I have to admit that things have definitely gotten easier since then. But it's still difficult. Partly because five kids…

Fashion Tag

Okay, so I do not claim to be a fashionista. I'm just learning about all of this. When you are severely obese fashion isn't really the main concern...finding something to fit is...and honestly, I don't think I ever wore the size I actually needed to wear when I was at my biggest...and I'm learning that that is pretty typical.

So...I'm not doing this to claim that I know anything about fashion...it's just fun. Also I thought this would be a fun way to document the evolution of my style...as I'm sure that it will be changing more as I have more options do to my shrinking size.

1. How would you describe your style?
I think I would call it funky classic. Because I'm mostly pretty classic but I do like a little bit of funk in there too. OR maybe rocker would be more accurate...not sure.

2.  What are your wardrobe staples?
Okay, so I don't have a ton since I'm just starting my collection but...white tank tops...you know the kind mechanics wear??? I love …

Ramble Alert!

There are a bazillion reasons that I want to be healthy (ie at an ideal weight). Mostly because I really believe that I cannot truly be trusting in God and putting my faith in Him, if I'm relying so heavily on my unhealthy relationship with food.

For the first 40 pounds I didn't do any kind of exercise. At that point I picked an exercise DVD and started working out. I didn't just choose something easy. I chose something difficult and that's kind of what I've done ever since.

Well, until a couple of months ago. I've had a really hard time talking myself into working out with any regularity and with any real conviction/challenge. I've mostly walked and even that has not been consistent.


Last night, for the first time in a couple of months I made it through an entire workout where I could barely breath and at several points I thought I might faint. It was hard. The entire time I wanted nothing more than to quit. I prayed the entire time for God to just get me thr…

All Because of Jesus

Yeah, I wanted to lose 5lbs today. But when I stepped onto the scale, it said I gained 1.2 lbs instead.

But just because I want something doesn't mean that's what I need. And I am so thankful that God's ways are higher than mine because my life would be so much less meaningful if I always got my way.

I've kind of seen this whole weight loss process as a sort of spiritual awakening. Errr....or maybe the weight loss process is a physical manifestation of my spiritual awakening.

I get a lot of compliments. I have to admit, I do enjoy them. I am thankful for them. But sometimes I forget to give God the glory, and instead take it as my own.

And so, after the initial feelings of frustration, I am thankful for my weight gain today. It reminds me that God is in control, NOT ME. It reminds me to stop trying to take control and do things my way, and trust Him...and give HIM the resulting glory.

There are times when I wish life were musical where it is perfectly expected and acceptabl…