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My Plan: Step One

Sometimes I think I can identify with Judas Iscariot. Being so overwhelmed by how sinful I am can easily lead to depression for me. I get so caught up in all of the numerous (as the stars) ways I've failed and how terrible my sin is and how that has affected the people I love the most that I can understand the despair that Judas felt that led to his death.

Even though it IS important to recognize and repent of sin, it is more important to recognize that I can't get bogged down in it. I don't have to. Because Jesus has set me free. He has set me free. He can/will change me. I know that. I've witnessed it over the past year.

This week when we met with the school officials to discuss the outcome of the tests they did with Caleb, I left feeling like a failure, and knowing that I needed to make a lot of changes...and in despair over the bazillion times I had made charts, graphs and plans and then failed to implement them.

Well, after several days, tons of Bible reading and sermons/lectures listened to, I feel better. My focus has changed.

I have to approach it one step at a time. I can't change everything over night. In fact, I've proven that I (on my own) can't change anything at all. I am completely dependent on God for that. So I am praying that He will glorify Himself through making changes in my life...because changing me would be such an awesome fete that nothing and nobody else could possibly have accomplished it or could receive credit.

So it seems clear to me...

Step One:  First things first. Rising early to spend quiet time with God before my family gets up. I need this. It prepares my heart and mind to serve my family and it just gives me an awesome jump start to my day. I am NOT a morning person. So I'm definitely going to be in need of prayer!

Okay, so as part of my "Quiet Time" in the morning, I have decided to include some reading that will encourage and exhort me specifically in my "keeper of the home" role. I've made a list of books that I want to read that will keep me busy for a long time. I want to read them slowly so as to soak in as much "older woman" wisdom as I can. Have you read any of these? If so, what did you think? What books do you want to read? What books would you recommend?

These aren't necessarily in the order I plan to read them...

Shopping for Time
The Mission of Motherhood
From Clutter to Clarity
Sacred Influence: How God Uses Wives to Shape the Souls of Their Husbands
Choosing Grattitude
Steady Days:  A Journey Toward Intentional, Professional Motherhood
The Ministry of Motherhood
Practicing Hospitality: The Joy of Serving Others

Anyway, I'm saying all of this to say THIS, if you have time and remember, please pray for me before you go to sleep at night...for the strength to endure the first ten minutes of morning misery to give the benefits of it to my family and ultimately to bring glory to God.


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