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A Day of Rest

It's always struck me as odd how adamant God was with the Israelites that they take a day of rest. And how hard it was for them to do it. They even ended up making crazy laws about exactly how far they could walk because they wanted to know EXACTLY where the line was.

But I guess I kind of know how they felt. I have such a hard time feeling like it's okay to take a rest day from running/exercise.

And not only is it okay, but it's actually good for me. I always have a good running day the day after I take a rest day.

But it's so hard to actually do it. Michael teases me that instead of running on my rest days I do something even more hard on my body at home.

And it's kind of true. I can't even tell you the inward struggle I had this morning to simply walk instead of run. And then not to rush home and do a strenuous workout video to make up for not running.

I'm afraid that if I stop for a day I might not ever do it again. I might just let it all go. And that's scary. Because I don't want to let it all go.

I believe that I need rest. I've seen the benefits of it. But it's so hard to trust and not try to make excuses and workout anyway. Even though I know, logically, that it would not be beneficial to my body.

It's all so typical of me. Instead of sitting back and letting God work, letting Him direct my steps, I think I have to take matters into my own hands. I think that if I just read one more chapter in my Bible then God will really forgive and love me. If I just get up at 4:45 am when my alarm goes off, then I'm saved. And if I don't do those things...I'm a loser who can't even get out of bed for God's glory and I've punched my ticket to hell.

I'm a mess. I'm a mess who keeps trying to clean itself up. And if messes could clean themselves up, my life would be a lot easier...but they don't. So I guess I'll just have to rely on the custodian of my soul to do it for me.

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