Recently God's been taking me through a rigorous process of transformation. I was already in awe of the work He had done in me and then I realized that the things He'd already healed were just flesh wounds. The ones he is healing now are the wounds that I washed and bandaged and didn't even know needed to be dealt with further. They are the ones festering and infected that are infecting all the areas around them.
I'm learning a lot. I've been able to pinpoint a lot of the lies that I've believed...about myself, about others and about God. I'm sure that there are still others that I've yet to discover.
I can't even tell you how awesome it is to be able to openly admit and receive help to deal with and stop my sin.
One of my most prominent defects of character is gluttony.
I comfort myself with food.
I binge eat.
I have 30 more character defects though and in dealing with those I've become very passive about this one. I've sort of been waiting on God to make a move FOR me. I had kind of decided that maybe God wants me to be fat...maybe there's some larger purpose. Like being obese is some ailment that just happened to me.
YES! God gives me the power, but He's not going to turn me into a robot because I claim to be surrendering to His will. The Captain of a ship directs the ship, but if the anchor is down, no matter where the ship is directed...IT'S NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
Truly surrendering to His will is letting Him lead. Follow the leader only works if the participants FOLLOW THE LEADER. They can want to follow, they can say they follow, they can follow in their head...but unless they actually physically follow...the game doesn't work.
It is NOT His will for me to sin and abuse my body.
My body is the temple of the Lord...and I'm keeping it in such ill repair that I can't, and in some cases simply won't, live for Him in my full capacity.
That is NOT His will.
Yes. He loves me. Jesus blood covers me...every last fat roll.
Gluttony is sin. And sin is never His will. God's will for me is to bring Him glory. And I can't be passive about that.
I'm not going to make any grand declarations about what I am or am not going to do. All I'm saying is it's time to pull up the anchor and let my ship go where the Captain leads it.