Adventures in Walking
I wrote this in August of 2011.
So I was walking along, oblivious to the world. Enjoying the evening--have I mentioned the evenings in Central California are the best evenings anywhere? Well, they are.
So I'm walking along, and a good song comes on so I get a little extra pep in my step....when out of the corner of my eye I see something running fiercely in my direction. I turn and see this GARGANCHUAN dog running at me.
Now, I'd like to stop right here to say that I have what I consider to be a healthy fear of animals. You will never read about me getting choked to death by my pet boa constrictor.
Also, I have a fairly nice sized knowledge of dog breeds and their corresponding personalities stored away.
With that being said...
I'm standing there and I see this huge dog...lips flapping in the wind putting his razor sharp teeth on display, its tongue hanging out, eyes all red and drooping and the skin around the eyes getting caught in the wind making the red around it's eyes more visible...very reminiscent of several sharks I've seen. All of that foreknowledge goes out the window. There is a dog running at me and all I can think of is PIT BULL. I immediately start screaming.
Keep this in mind...all of this was happening whilst music was playing in my ear drum. So i have no way of knowing how grossly overboard the screaming went...but I can assure you...IT WAS LOUD...AND SHRILL. And probably unhelpful.
I'm standing there picturing the scene from Mark of the Lion where Hadassah is getting eaten by the lion. Yeah. Seriously, I'm picturing meat and bones and blood.
All the while the dog is just prancing around me...obviously if he were going to eat me he wouldn't be so UNthreatening. And I realized it was some sort of boxer mix and NOT a pitbull at all.
So just as I BEGAN to realize the dog probably didn't have rabies and wasn't going to rip my flesh from my bones, I was starting to calm down and stop screaming, I realize there's a big, burly, long haired, long bearded scary looking man running toward me...WIELDING A HAMMER! To this I'm thinking...oh great...the dog was just to get me to stop now this huge man is going to kill me.
The man says something to me...and it finally occurs to me to take my earbuds OUT of my ears. So the man is telling me (while trying to wrangle the dog...who will not be wrangled) how the dog won't hurt me. And I'm like...yeah...thanks! I'm not really into taking safety advice from a big burly man waving a hammer around...but whatever.
Anyway, I said all that to say this: I wasn't torn to shreds by a vicious dog.