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Something Worth Fighting For Vol. II

Our marriage started out sick. And the longer we went on, the sicker we got.
 Until the healing began.

Except, when the healing began there was no immediate relief. Healing wasn't instant and miraculous. In fact, we realized that we had been sicker than either of us even knew or was willing to admit.

It was like becoming wounded in the forest. I see the wound and do my best to use my first aid kit to dress it. So I clean it and put a bandage on and then begin to find my way out of the forest. When I finally get to a hospital, the first thing the doctor does is take off the bandage. The bandage served a purpose but true healing can't begin until that bandage comes off. The doctor can't even see the true nature of the wound when it's hidden beneath a bandage. So he peels it off. It's painful but it has to be done.

After the bandage came off I realized that the wound was way more serious than I even knew. And the doctor is shocked that I'm alive. It's sort of a miracle.

It's like God allowed us to have a bandage over our issues and their affect on our marriage until we were ready for true healing. And then he ripped it off, and the wound was way deeper and massive than we knew.

And I can't believe we lived through that and are still married.

For a while I was kind of cynical. I couldn't stand to read things about marriage because I was so angry that I had read all of those books and blogs and tried so hard to implement the things they said and my marriage was still a mess.

The thing is, spicing up our sex life or writing him sweet notes or making him his favorite meal isn't always the answer to the problems in marriage. Sin is not addressed by lingerie and compliments and food. If it were, then we wouldn't need Jesus. But we do. Desperately

And sometimes keeping my mouth shut and just submitting more is not the answer either. 

There are a lot of amazing books and blogs and articles about marriage. People should definitely read them. But if there is unaddressed sin, it should be dealt with. Not covered up. Not coped with. Not whined about to my family and friends. Dealt with. 

But not in a self righteous all-of-our-problems-are-YOUR-fault kind of way. In a I'm-just-as-flawed-as-you-let's-both-get-help kind of way.

For us it started with going to counseling and Celebrate Recovery. Both allowed us to talk about our issues openly and to find accountability and real help in dealing with our sin.
Am I saying we're healed? No. I'm saying we're headed in a good direction. I'm saying God is working in us and for us. I'm saying there's hope.

I'm saying that this marriage thing is worth fighting for.


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