Showing posts from September, 2015

Being Vulnerable...and Transparent

When I was growing up in the Central Valley of California we lived on a half an acre or something. We had a huge garden, a swimming pool, ducks, rabbits, chickens, several dogs, cats and a separate building that my dad (who is a preacher) used as an office.

He had so many books and didn't want to take up all the wall space with bookshelves so he created a maze of books in one corner. It was like a square enclosed in a larger square with books on all sides. The room also sported a large white board for my dad to work out sermons on.

I would lie in wait until I knew my dad was either gone or busy elsewhere and I would sneak out there to put together my own sermons and then preach them to my imaginary audience.

I don't remember any of my sermons but I remember that it was one of my favorite things.

I've always felt a little weird about being a girl. Really only in a spiritual context because I have been drawn to things I was taught are wrong. Like teaching the Bible in any fo…

How I Know God Is Good

We're back.

Souls fed, hearts full, skin brown.

We stopped to play in the Gulf of Mexico before heading to our boat. This is life with five wild indians. Beautiful. But messy too.

Our first day on the boat. It was just starting to get dark. Can you tell how excited we were to be there? We counted down 214 days. For a while it felt like it would never get here. But it did.
We got to eat lunch with this view! God is an amazing artist!  Michael took advantage of the water slide. I think he enjoyed it more than the kids did!
One of our favorite things was the "Dive In Movie". There was a big screen above the pools and you could sit in a deck chair or in a hot tube or the pool and watch the movie. We got to see Avengers 2, Inside Out and Cinderella! All movies we had been wanting to see! Soooo much fun! This picture does not do the beauty of it in person justice. It took my breath away. God is awesome!
They were so excited to be able to say that they had been to another countr…


Our family is taking our first real vacation. We are super excited!!!

I am taking a complete vacation from my blog and all social media starting today through next Saturday, September 26. I am not going to fulfill my 2 publishes for next week. I will continue to write but I'm going to focus on my family and taking a soul retreat.

I hope you all have an amazing week!!

Comfort as an Obstacle

I've always considered myself to be blessed to be born in the United States. I've sat and pondered why I would be allowed to live here when so many others aren't.

I've also always considered myself blessed to be born in the time I was born. Thinking about some of the things that women have had to endure over the centuries...and some still horrifying. But I live in a place and time when women are relatively free. I can wear whatever I want whether it's a burka or a bikini. I can divorce my husband if I want to for any reason I see fit to. I can drive through the drive thru for dinner. I can choose a career. I can be whatever I want to be...including a man. 
Women have never been free-er. 
But I'm starting to wonder if all of this freedom and the state of American society is really the blessing I've always considered it to be. 
I think that because my life has been pretty comfortable, it's easy to be lukewarm and/or spiritually lethargic. It's…

Thinking About My Thinking

The deadline for fall submissions to (in)courage closed this morning. I didn't submit anything. It just wasn't even on the radar of things I've been thinking about.

I'm not afraid of repeated rejection. I just don't think that's what God has for me right now, and I'm not going to force it. If God gives me something to say, I'll write it and submit, but for now He hasn't.
That's a recent commitment I've made...if God opens a door I will thankfully and faithfully walk through it, but I'm not going to build my own. Unless all the materials for the door show up on my doorstep and it becomes clear that He intends me to. 
I've been struggling to remain faithful in my writing. I've been wondering if this really is God's plan for me. Because I do this basically for myself. People tell me it encourages them sometimes, but I do this completely on my own. Nobody asked me to. 
My husband gets asked to use his talents. I'm not jealous…

Raw and Uncut

I'm feeling kind of frustrated.

I'm frustrated because sometimes I totally think I'm surrendering to God and am in deep fellowship with Him and then I realize that I'm not really. If I were alive to God, I would be dead to sin and I wouldn't still be overeating. I mean, I know that as long as I'm alive I'll be growing and God will be changing me into the likeness of His Son. But I shouldn't still be a slave to food.

I'm actually really at a loss about this. I feel raw and frustrated. I mean, I think I've been growing in my relationship with God...some areas are kind of the kind of mother I am. I'm not perfect but my mothering skills have seriously But other areas (mainly my food issues) I feel kind of baffled about.

It's not that I don't have the knowledge to eat healthy foods in healthy portions. It's the drive to actually do what I know, and not throw it all out the window when I…

Teaching my Kids to Get their Security from Jesus

I put my kids in public school this year. After a lot of prayer and thought we decided it was best. And so far it seems like a good thing.

This means I'm giving up a lot of my kids day to another adult. And a part of public school is reward/penalty based discipline.
At our "big kids" school there is something called the "Jeans List". Kids are awarded for good behavior by being given a reprieve from the normal uniform required.
None of our kids have made it so far. They have been disappointed every time.
Uriah, on the other hand, has been awarded Athlete, musician and artist of the week. 
I'll tell you what though, neither one of these things phases me, because I know who my kids are. I don't need them to receive awards or compliments for me to know who they are. Uriah was a good kid way before he was acknowledged by his teachers for being one. My other kids are good kids (who have their problems but are generally, usually fairly well behaved) even thoug…

Trusting God at 9:02 a.m.

Remember Magnum P.I.? Shorty shorts, hawaiian shirts and . . . that mustache.

Thomas Magnum, of Magnum P.I., kept his head above water.

A power boat had passed by and knocked him into the water and separated him from his surfski.

Stranded. In open ocean.

Tired. Small hope.

He kicks his legs and waves his arms the way his father had taught him. Past the point of pain and exhaustion.

Not by agonizing . . .

over every kick and wave. Or how long rescue might take. Or how much his legs and arms hurt. Or how thirsty he is.

He made a decision each moment to keep kicking for THAT moment. Not ten minutes from then or even ten seconds. He made the decision to believe in the current moment and to keep kicking his legs and waving his arms. Regardless of how it felt.

And sometimes that's what life requires of us. Whether it's a bad health diagnosis, a struggling marriage or an addiction that I'm trying to break. Sometimes I just have to make the decision that at 8:42 am I am going to t…