Sometimes I feel like a fraud. Sometimes when I want to express my love to God, the words catch in my throat because my actions aren't always aligned with those words.
Peter comes to mind in those moments.
He was quick to declare his love, faith and loyalty. But his actions were not always as bold or in agreement in their declarations. And sometimes, he completely missed the point.
And yet, even when he denied knowing Jesus, Jesus never denied knowing him. And when He missed the point or got it wrong, Jesus didn't tell him to go away. Or render him useless and relegate him to being a silent observer.
He invited him out onto the water. He ate dinner with him. Included him in private, intimate moments. Appeared to him and taught him after the resurrection and then filled him with His Spirit and used him to implement and teach and govern His Kingdom on Earth.
My deficiencies do not render me useless to God. They render me humble and reliant on Him. They embody opportunities for God's glory and power to make themselves evident.
Should I sin with abandon based on that?
I should get over myself, open my spirit, accept His grace, trust Him to do His work inspite of my weakness.
And sing and dance and tell everyone around me about my awesome God and what He's done for me!
And you should too.