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Showing posts from September, 2017

Statues, Flags and Decor - Revised Edition

I had a whole post typed out about the controversy about statues and flags and decorations sold at craft stores.

And then I deleted it. Because this is the real issue . . .

I want to love you. 

Regardless of the amount of pigmentation in your skin, how much money you make or whether you have a Black Lives Matter or Blue Lives Matter sign in your yard.

Sometimes I am biased, self-seeking and even rude. I am not great at loving you. I am not even good or mediocre at it. But I want to be. The world could use more love. And less judgment.

You are a child of the same God as I am. You are his beloved child who he made fearfully and wonderfully just like me. And because of that, you are precious to me.

In my heart, the statues are taken down. History is remembered and observed. Police who discriminate have stopped doing it. Only those who do commit crimes are suspected of them. Every police officer goes home safe to their family every. stinkin. night, they are shown the respect their uniform …

FAIL!

In third grade, I was the best speller in my class. They talked to my parents and gave me the test to see if I could be moved to the accelerated class for "gifted" kids.

I passed and they let me in. But for some reason, I felt like a fraud.

Until that point, I worked really hard at being a good student. I thought I could find my self worth in excelling academically.

Even as an 8 year old child, I remember being afraid of receiving confirmation that I was dumb. Or of anyone noticing how dumb I really was.

When I got into the class for "gifted" kids I felt the need to puff myself up. To make myself seem special and more likable/lovable than I believed I was. I bluffed my way through, expecting the ax to fall at any moment.

My fourth grade teacher seemed drawn to a specific group of students. I was not in that group. No matter what I did, he never seemed to notice or approve. He would hand assignments back to me, tell me I hadn't put any effort into them and keep …